Arrogance and low self-esteem seem to be polar opposites.  When someone acts arrogantly we are offended and want to tell them to “get over yourself.”  When someone berates themselves we think their behavior is piteous and we want to say “pull yourself out of it.”  The truth is that arrogance and self-flagellation are two sides of the same coin.  Both are self-obsession.  Self-obsession is thinking exclusively about yourself without reference to anyone else.  Both attitudes see life through the filter of their own slanted perception and both lose out on life.

The truth is that arrogance and self-pity are in all of us at one time or another to one degree or another.  The truth is that we are all wonderful and capable beings – and fragile and scared human beings.  The lie is that anyone of us is much better than or much worse than the other. 

What both of these character traits cause is a separation from life and connection to others.  When we allow these character traits to become exaggerated they become character flaws that cause havoc in our lives.  But our perceptions of ourselves seem deep seated in our personalities – they seem hard to see and hard to change. 

So how do we tame the effects of these traits?  First we need to realize the cost they have caused us.  What have these flaws cost you monetarily?  What life opportunities have you lost because of these flaws?  What love relationships have you pushed away?

And there’s always a payoff for how we believe and act.  What is the payoff that you get from these attitudes about yourself?

Centered Action

If you can be honest with yourself you can begin to let go of your rigid position and break down the filter that is your view of life.  Our brains will always bring up the old attitude first because at the core, our character flaws are motivated by our fears.  But at each critical moment, we can choose to recognize these attitudes as a destructive lie – and act contrary to that old attitude.

Say to yourself:  “I release with love this old attitude.  It has served me for a long time, but it no longer serves me for my highest good.  Be gone!”  Then be patient with yourself.  You didn’t develop these attitudes overnight.  They may take persistent and repeated effort to change, but change they will and magic will occur in its place.

If you feel this message would be useful to someone you know, please forward it to them.

Keep the Faith, Clean up the messes in Your Path, Give to Someone Else,

And Be Your Most Magnificent Self…

Jody D.