Time Takes Time
Our family recently had an unexpected loss of a close and beloved family member. There isn’t anything that can prepare you for loss. I have another loved one who has slowly declined due to dementia and it’s been a painful and long loss watching who she was disappear inch-by-inch. It feels like grieving, but she is not gone, so I cannot truly grieve…but it is a loss nonetheless. I’m grieving and missing the relationship we had.
Some of you have lost jobs whether by choice or not and are now missing who you were – loss of a piece of your identity – and your daily routine – and the work relationships you had. Perhaps a relationship has ended, and you are forced to be with those feelings of missing – and be with who you are now outside of that relationship.
I don’t like feeling sad. I’m normally a very Joyful person. And I particularly don’t like getting caught off guard when sadness bubbles up unexpectedly when I’m driving or when I have a random thought about someone. But such is the process of grief. If we resist the flow, the feelings persist and get stuck inside us. We are forced to feel our feelings as they come up for us, for as long as they come up for us. Grief is a personal Journey. If we can feel our feelings in the present, the pain of them begins to lessen.
With any loss there is also a period of fogginess – reality seems not real – and we are not making good decisions or driving our cars completely present. Just something to be aware of.
Time Takes Time
In grief, some people become catatonic, overwhelmed by feelings and at least temporarily unable to “get it together.” I have found myself acting more frantically- concentrating on trying to use all the tools in my Spiritual Tool Kit and being of Service to get out of myself, to just momentarily cope with the feelings that arise, unexpectedly – regardless – if we are just sitting or busy doing. I am allowing myself to give and receive hugs because that real life energetic exchange and connection is a Powerful Healing Tool.
All this to say, that Time takes Time. In this moment of loss and overwhelm, it may feel like it will never be okay, but we only have to feel that loss right now – and in the next right now. We are never alone. We may feel the missing, but our memories of connections to our life experiences with those we miss, can help us have a fuller life in the next right now. And if you can get quiet, you can hear your loved one’s voice or feel their hand on your shoulder, holding you up.
Centered Action:
Time takes Time. Patience, Self-Care, Kindness and Compassion are important for our Healing Process. Ask for help…you are not alone. Give a hug and get a hug. Know that you are loved and totally taken care of. It is important to find ways to Celebrate, Cherish and Share about these missings – this opens up Gratitude. I am sending you a Virtual Hug and Surrounding You with White Light and Blessings.
To our Health and Well Being!!
If you feel this message would be useful to someone you know, please forward it to them.
Keep the Faith. Clean up the messes in Your Path. Give to Someone Else.
And Be Your Most Magnificent Self…
Jody Drexler