It is very common these days to hear people talking about setting boundaries in challenging relationships. What they are really saying is that someone is not treating them the way they want. And usually, they are reacting and even abandoning their own wishes to please the other person. In situations like this our first reaction is to blame the other person for their bad behavior – in “making” us or “guilting” us to do things against our will. In reality, we have made these people our Higher Power – given them power over our desires and Peace of Mind.
How do we “win” in this seemingly no-win situation. We may think we have to stand up for ourselves and set boundaries. If we attempt to set a boundary based on fear or anger, we are pitting ourselves against our opposition – gearing up for a fight. Boundaries are walls and rules that we are trying to force between ourselves and another. And if the other person retaliates or fails to comply, we will again feel fear and anger. In this scenario, there are no winners.
Realize that you own your Spiritual Space – you and your Sacred Self – always protected – always intuitively knowing. If you state your wishes from this Space, there is no argument. The other person is free to choose what you want and need, or not. Their words, “behavior” or actions, become irrelevant. You are merely choosing.
Realize that you own your Spiritual Space – you and your Sacred Self – always protected – always intuitively knowing. If you state your wishes from this Space, there is no argument. The other person is free to choose what you want and need, or not. Their words, “behavior” or actions, become irrelevant. You are merely choosing.
It feels scary at first. We sometimes are afraid to state what we want, because of fear of losing – friendship, love or approval. I have to admit, the hardest time I have in practicing this is with my closest loved ones…especially my kid. That is because I want her to have everything her Heart Desires. I want her to feel Peace, and Joy and feel totally taken care of. However, sometimes her wishes and desires collide with my needs. It is a very tricky balancing act. If I’m always tuning in to my Highest Self – disregarding her wishes – I’m always going to make the correct choices for me. And even if she reacts, I am totally protected – and so is she. I may not be her Solution, but she always has a Solution…We always have a Solution.
Centered Action:
We have two Spiritual Choices. We can choose to see the other’s point of view, be open to their wishes and choose that path for ourselves as well, with a positive attitude. We are Lovingly stating that these are our wishes too.
If we cannot, we trust our Intuition and make the Spiritual Choice by saying “you may be right, and this is what I’m choosing to do.” If we trust our True Highest Knowing, whatever choice we make will have a benefit for all concerned.
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